a part of the team

this was the first time, in a long time, that i was asked to be on a team. (instead of usually begging to be on it)

it arose, just casually, from nothing in particular - "Hey, you wanna join us this Sunday?"

and to my surprise, i accepted it. "Well, if you can't find anyone else, sure."

i am not the best player in the world, but still you guys had faith in me. and that faith motivated me, uplifted me, kept me going when every brain cell i had screamed at me "Why on earth do you think you can even do this?!" because i know, in my heart, that i have done nothing to deserve that place on the team, the trust that i have seemingly earned.

i hate losing, because it's becoming a habit with me. instead of a Y/N option, it's fast becoming the realistic and probable end to many events in my life. i hate losing, because obviously it gives you a bad feeling, and it messes with your morale and self-esteem. i hate losing, simply because i'm sick of losing - even if it's things that i supposedly can do.

but losing with you guys doesn't feel that bad.

this was the first time, in a long time, that i was asked to be on a team.

this was the first time, in a long time, that anyone ever thought i could amount to any good.