there's something i need to get off my chest, something that i've been carrying around for far too long now. there's no one i can talk to about this and ironically, the two people i consider myself closest to are not suitable candidates for this at all. but i need to get this out, in the fat, fat hopes that i'd feel better after this.

so here goes.

i'm sorry for failing. i'm sorry for not being strong enough. i'm sorry for giving up. and i'm especially sorry that i did not, and could not, keep all of my promises. "now and forever" seems to ring shallow in my ears now.

i feel like crap, looking at love blogs and reading stories of how other couples overcame the odds, being that pair of a million, saying 'we've come so far'. and i wish i could join their ranks, i wish that i could have been happy like that.

but i'm not, and you know that. how very selfish of me.

i remain convinced i will pay the price one day, for electing to do this.

i know that what we had was love, and probably is still love - just a little changed. you were an important part of me and nothing can possibly flush the traces of you from my broken heart.

no matter what, you'll always be the skinny bespectacled girl who understood me when most didnt. and i will be here for you.

but not like before.

i'm truly sorry.

and thank you, for everything.